dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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