strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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