It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize