i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
