In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I've blown a few things in my day
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
