i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
In America we eat man semen.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
