She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
