You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
