found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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