Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
