who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
