I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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