my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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