he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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