So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
