please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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