I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
