I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
