You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
