My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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