i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
