Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
do herpes really smell.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
