i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
