it hurts more in the daytime
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
