nut hugger
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize