Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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