i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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