Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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