No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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