so that wasnt chicken after all
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Life is so much better after having sex.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
