so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
