Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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