did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
