tell your sister to shave her snatch
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
