Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
