come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
