Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
