my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
