You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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