Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ambien. No doubt about it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize