oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
