Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
