pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
