my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
not ubering you a puppy
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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