I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
