ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm both gender and math confused
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
