Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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