someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize