When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
