Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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