what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
