I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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