No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
