And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
