OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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