it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
