I think my fart just growled at me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
