I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
