Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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