We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
