I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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